For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. (NLT)
Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. (NASB)
Ephesians 5:22
This is the verse that strikes fear or dread in the heart of many women as soon as they realize which part of the Bible is being preached that morning in church. As a result it sets up a barrier to hearing any more and makes many convinced that Paul was against women. But it is not true. Let’s look at this verse in context.
Remember where we have come from”
be filled with the Holy Spirit . . . speaking . . . singing / praising . . . giving thanks . . .
And further, being subject (submitted) to one another out of reverence for Christ.
For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord.
So don’t forget the propositional sequence from “be filled with the Spirit” to this verse “wives be subject”.
Notice something else as well. Do you see the difference in verse 22 as it reads in the NASB? The words be subject are greyed out – be subject and italicized. In terms of the NASB it means the words are not there in the original. In some versions these words are bracketed [be subject] or [submit] in reference to the same phenomenon.
Αἱ γυναῖκες τοῖς ἰδίοις ἀνδράσιν ὡς τῷ Κυρίῳ
The wives {to the(ir)} own husbands as {to the} Lord
There are versions of the NT which leave out the verb from this verse. Hence the bracketed, greyed out examples above. Other readings have the verb included as a finite imperative (command) form of the verb.
This verse then is dependent on what has gone before it. It is clear that what follows is on the basis of what was said before. The thought of women being subject to their own husbands is part of the notion of being subject to one another. We ought all to be submitted to one another (or subject to one another). Wives submit to husbands and husband submit to wives. That means husbands too ought to submit to wives at times. It is not a one way submission because wives ought always to submit. Submit to one another: wives your part is submit; his part is to love like Christ. When these things are working in harmony and in mutual response to one another then there is a balanced approach to marriage life. Biblical submission is not slavery, subjection or trampling on another and having your own way. It is NEVER that. There is mutuality of respect and deferring to one another. A wise husband will never insist on his way all the time BECAUSE HE IS THE HEAD OF THE HOUSE. That is nonsensical. That ensures the wife just gives up and lets him “have his own way”. “You never respect what I have to say. You never accept my input.” If that is the case then the husband has just lost half of the resources available to them as a couple. That would be crazy.
That would be the same as a boss who insist on everything done his or her way. Who never listens to advice or input from “below”. That is dictatorial and is a severely limited way of doing business. When you do that you limit your resources in a major way. A boss who does that nullifies the creativity of all his staff and ends up doing it all himself. How stupid is that! Similarly a husband who insists on his own way because he is the head of the house. Mutuality in decision making means at times we do it your way, at times we do it mine. But we do have to have a leader, the final-say-decision-maker in times when that is needed. When everyone is the boss, no one is the boss: it doesn’t work. But a wise boss will include the others in a symbiotic relationship.
Paul’s construction here is: Submit to one another . . . Wives submit . . . Husbands love. Notice too that husbands are to love and wives are to respect. Much has been made of this in the context of the submission and much made from it while misunderstanding what is being said. We will look more at this too. I think the whole issue of the women’s liberation movement has messed up the understanding of this passage while we “pussyfoot around” trying not to offend the other party. Don’t take offense at this teaching of Paul’s. It is just as much a sin to take offence as it is to give offence. Refuse to be offended. Work toward understanding each other.
More to come.
But at the very least realize that women submitting is in the context of all submitting which is in the context of being filled with Spirit. Don’t forget that Paul has stated the over arching purposes of God to be “every submitted to Christ who’s is the head of the body”. [1:9,10] Don’t you get it? – the out-working of that is accomplished in microcosm by husbands and wives submitting to one another, us all in the church submitting to one another. It is possible to do when we realize we are all submitted to the One head. Issues of protecting our rights, our position, the honour due to me all fade away. They become irrelevant when things are rightly ordered before God and Christ is the Head of the church and incidentally, the home. When that happens issues of headship, who’s the leader, submission and subjection, decision making stress and anything else that raise its ugly head are disarmed and powerless. But if it is not the case and power struggles exist within the home between husband and wife then World War III is always possible.
Continuing story tomorrow. For any husband and wife reading this together or separately, go have a cup of coffee and have a disarmament summit. What God wants is “everything under the headship of Christ” [Bible Gem 622] so that all other headships are in order as well. Including husbands and wives. Go sort it out. See you back here tomorrow in one piece, clothed and in your right mind. Bring your left mind as well.
Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate.
Barnett R. Brickner
You can never be happily married to another until you get a divorce from yourself. Successful marriage demands a certain death to self.
Jerry McCant
It is not marriage that fails; it is people that fail. All that marriage does is to show people up.
Harry Emerson Fosdick
Marriage Has Conformed Me More To “His Image” Than 35 Years Of Bible Study.
Robb Thompson
Better marriage only occurs when each person becomes a “better me”.
Jeffrey Rachmat